Stairs, Elevators, and Other Death Traps

We have stairs in our church. This is not unique for churches. But our stairs are deadly. Put in long before building codes and other trivial services, our stairs were designed to keep people over six feet from leaving.

You see as you are going up the stairs to enter our church everything is fine and dandy. Yet somehow against the laws of physics, when you leave if you’re tall and not paying attention, you will smack your head against a beam.

In this beam we have wisely attached metal bolts that protrude to elevate the level of danger.I can’t tell you how many grown men I have seen sprinting out the door to catch the big game, suddenly floored by their eagerness and an unyielding overhang.

I think many would opt to take our “elevator,” but the ride has about a 60/40 chance of breaking down mid-way between floors. Add this to the fact that they typical response time for maintenance service is about 1-2 weeks.

If our church ever puts in a teleportation device, I think I’ll risk the stairs…

Random Side Note: I’m only 5’6.”

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