Archive for the ‘funny’ category

Funny in Church has Gone Big!

June 10, 2008

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Top 10 Things in Church that are of the Devil, Unless You’re Emergent

April 16, 2008

1. The Drums
2. Running in Church
3. Sex (or the mention thereof)
4. Drugs (just the illegal ones…and beer)
5. Rock and Roll
6. Strong Disagreements
7. Hard Questions
8. Mini-skirts
9. Tattoos, Odd Hair Colors, and Body Piercing
10. Emergent Churches

Grumpy Greeters and Who Need a Waiting Room

April 16, 2008

During a term at college some friends decided to visit a local mega-church. They invited me along, and we were all pretty excited to check things out. That morning we met up outside of our dorm rooms, but someone was running a little late. We made it to the church parking lot a few minutes after the service started, but that is about far as we got. As we made our way towards the entrance, an usher was closing the doors.

When my friend asked him to hold the door for us, he held up his hand to halt our progression, and told us frankly how the service was full. He continued sternly to tell us that we would have to wait until the next service, and that we should come early if we wanted to be admitted.

I think this is why Jesus spent a lot of time preaching outside. Can you imagine his disciples telling people they would have to wait till the next service to hear about God’s love? Something tells me Jesus would not have allowed that to continue.

One time while he was preaching inside, people actually tore the roof off to see him, and what’s amazing is, he doesn’t seem all that upset about it. I don’t think that would have gone over well at this church.

Self Appointed Camp Musician Guy

March 31, 2008

There is one in every bunch. This is such a funny video, from a Young Life leader in Saranac.

Check out more video’s from This Leader on YouTube

It’s Getting Hot in Here…

March 31, 2008

Apparently the world has changed drastically in the last couple of years. For the most part churches could avoid or hide from the drastic leaps in technology that the pagans revelled in, but this is no longer the case.

Now churches have podcasts, and blogs, and all sorts of other words the unenlightened must wikipedia. As a youth pastor I am usually up on the latest, and enjoy scoffing at friends who are just now setting up their myspace pages.

Then a few days ago, someone asked me if I Twitter. Not wanting to look ignorant I responded by saying that I am a frequent Twitterer, or Twitteree, and could even be considered somewhat of a Twitterist. Then I went straight home to figure out what this person was talking about. I learned I am not a Twitterbug, nor do I have any desire to become one…by the way if you twitter, I am currently typing these words (inside joke).

So we’re in church and the preacher is preaching, and everything is status quo, until someones phone went off to the tune of “It’s getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes.”

And I of course thought of all of you. Wait, not because I want you to take your clothes off…that didn’t come out right…I didn’t…oh, never mind.

You’re In My Pew

March 19, 2008

There is an unspoken reality in church. We are territorial. Don’t believe me? Start looking around church the next few weeks, and see if you notice a trend. Some of the regulars sit in the exact same spot every Sunday. Now they might move up one pew, or back a pew…but notice where they sit in the pew. It rarely changes.

This is why the holiday season can be particularly agitating for the more territorial folk. Who do these visitors think they are taking up entire sections with family and friends? The nerve of some people…inviting others to church.  Seriously now.  I mean everyone knows they’ll be gone next week.

This is the only thing that keeps the season ticket holder of row 5, seat A, from putting up his dukes and punching the encroacher right there in the face.

So if you find yourself without a seat this Easter, and your temperature rising, remember as surely as Jesus rose from the grave…these visitors will also rise from your seat very soon.